Who Should I Obey?

I’ve been thinking a lot about obedience lately. 

When is obedience a good thing and when should we “buck the system,” so to speak? I’m not sure blind obedience is ever appropriate, yet we often ask our kids to just do what they are told, because, “I said so.” 

I somehow like to walk the line between following the rules and thinking outside the box. I’ve never liked to get into trouble or be singled out for not following the rules, yet we all know that those who make a difference in the world are those who have the courage to step up and change the status quo.

Is it ok to follow rules that I choose, yet ignore the ones I don’t agree with? I began teaching my kids in about fourth or fifth grade that it was ok for them to put my initials on their planners which are checked each day at school. I understand why the teachers want them signed, but my kids are on the ball. They get their work completed and handed in without me having to micromanage them. I don’t understand why I should have to add one more thing to my day and then if I forget to sign, my kids are punished. It’s all around much easier to just let my kid sign the planner and be done with it. Yet, what lesson am I teaching them? Is this teaching them that cheating is ok? Am I teaching them that they only need to follow the rules they choose? Or am I teaching them that not everything is a big deal and we only need to worry about the big things? Am I teaching them to focus on what's important and not sweat the little things?

I believe obedience is more about being obedient to ourselves and our morals than it is about obeying rules. We should obey the voice inside that tells us what is wrong and right. We should obey the feelings that tell us when to stand up against unfair rules and be brave enough to say "no" when it makes the world a better place. I hope I can teach my kids the importance of obedience along with the importance of being obedient to yourself.

What's Past is Past

I was considering writing about the past in my blog today, then there was the heartbreaking end to the Superbowl (yes, I'm a Seahawks fan) last night. You see, I've never played sports and one of the reasons is that I can barely watch a game that I care about without getting overly nervous. When the competition ends in defeat I can just imagine the key players reliving that last agonizing moment when it could have gone either way over and over again. But, like Rafiki (from Lion King) says, "It doesn't matter, it's in the past." 

Agathon, a Greek poet, brings the past into reality when he says, "Of this alone, even God is deprived, the power of making things that are past never to have been." We cannot change the past, in fact, not even God can do that. So, when bad or scary things happen we tend to relive the moment considering how things could have been different. Yet, we simultaneously know there is nothing we can do to change what has already happened..

We truly only have two choices. Like Rafiki says next, "Oh yes, the past can hurt. But from the way I see it, you can either run from it, or . . . learn from it." Once we accept that there is nothing we can do to change what happened, we can decide how we are going to move forward, since "the past is in the past" ("Let It Go," Disney's Frozen).

William Glasser, psychologist, said, "What happened in the past that was painful has a great deal to do with what we are today." So the trick is seeing those hurtful moments as opportunities to learn and grow. 

We need to take Mexican writer, Domenico Cieri Estrada's advice: "Bring the past only if you're going to build from it."