Fallen Heroes

There are heroes all around us falling to the mistakes of their humanity. People like Lance Armstrong and Oscar Pistorius have fallen hard in the eyes of their admirers.  This got me to thinking about my own personal heroes. I’ve never been one to look up to sports or media stars; my heroes have always been those around me.

Most people go through the autonomy phase when they are teens. Believe me, I did my share of rebelling, but I have always looked up to my mom and tried to gain her approval. I have said many times that if I can be as good a mother as she is, I would be doing pretty well.

I’m not naïve and I know that my mom is human. She makes mistakes and does things I don’t agree with, but it wasn't until this Christmas that I realized that I tend to agree with her impulsively.

I’m sure that much of these feelings grow from the fact that we are very similar. It’s rare to find a subject that we disagree on and our personalities are so alike that we were able to drive across country, just the two of us, and thoroughly enjoy each other’s company. As I grow and mature, I discuss my choices and difficulties with her, and it seems we make many of the same decisions.

So it was a shock to me when, this December, my siblings and their spouses were discussing a recent scenario, and I realized that maybe my mom is not always right. It was almost as if my eyes were literally opened.  Hmm, maybe mom was wrong, I thought, after all, no one is perfect. As strange as it sounds, it was the first time that I can remember actually choosing to see a point of view different from my mother’s.

Lucky for me, I never expected my mom to be perfect and this realization didn't make her fall in my eyes. It actually made me more secure in my roles of daughter and mother. It gave me the permission to respectfully question my mom’s actions. And even better than that, it gave me the courage to emulate her even more. I know I can do my best in every situation and when I make mistakes, it’s okay. Mom isn't perfect and neither am I.

“The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise.”- Alden Nowlan

 I don’t know if I am wise yet, but each day that I learn to accept the humanity in those around me and forgive myself for not being better than they, I get a little closer.

Thanks, Mom, for not being perfect.