Yes, I was devastated. We have talked about pornography in our family and we have discussed how special and private our bodies are. I was shocked to find this filth infiltrating my home. I know enough about pornography that I felt as if I had just found drugs hidden in my child's room. I cried hysterically then called a friend who has done tons of research on pornography and how it affects children. (Check out her blog at www.pornproofkids.com) After more research and tons of discussions, it seems that the pornography was accessed by a friend who was visiting our home. (Big sigh of relief, but with both eyes wide open, just in case.)
I am sharing this experience in the hopes that you will learn from us and guard your homes from the trash that is pervading our society today. Here are five things I learned:
1) Pornography is everywhere- ads, music, video games, website pop-ups, google-type searches, etc. I hadn't realized before how music videos and video games begin to hook young minds, and that they are designed by porn pushers to do just that. Be aware of what your child is viewing even if it seems harmless.
2) Pornography WILL affect your family- Before I discovered pornography on the iPod, I had talked to my kids and have a filter on our computers. I wasn't worried, I thought my bases were covered. However, the iPod touch did not have a filter and left the opportunity for use wide open. That's when I realized, I can't keep it away from them. Kids are at school with friends with smartphones. They visit neighbor's homes. If they haven't seen pornography yet, they will. The statistics are staggering. Close to 90%- yes 90% of kids will view pornography before the age of 15. Do you really think yours will be the 10%? Which brings us to the next point:
3) Talk to your kids and keep talking- Pornography is all around us. You need to talk about it and help your kids recognize it. Teach them to name it: "That is pornography." Ads with half-naked women are pornography, music with lewd lyrics is pornography: help your family begin to notice it for what it is and choose to shun it. Then when the friend shows them pornography or they become curious they will already understand what pornography is and that they won't want any part of it.
4) Use available tools-There are plenty of free internet filters, use one. There have been times when I felt like circumventing the filters from frustration, but now I decided I will put up with the frustration to make sure my kids are safe. I have each child set up with their own account on every computer and if you use Microsoft Family Safety, you can set filters and times of access on their accounts and they will be linked to each computer. I also learned you can put filters on your web browsers, do it (just google it!). My kids will never have internet on hand held devices (I know, I should never say never, but NEVER!). It is too easy and too tempting. Why risk it? They can use my phone when I'm beside them, or wait till they get home to access the internet.
5) Pornography is damaging physically, mentally, socially, and spiritually- Porn addiction is as bad or worse than a drug addiction. There are countless grown men who still struggle with porn after starting with a childhood curiosity. Don't let your kids be roped with an addiction that can be hidden so easily until it ruins a college education, a job, a marriage, or a family. Be vigilante. Check their devices often. Check browsing history and/or just hit back arrow to see where they have been. Wouldn't you rather know now than find out years later they they have been viewing porn for years?
What are your thoughts about pornography? What are you doing to protect your family? What do you need to do better?
Great post! Unfortunately, we've already had to deal with the pornography issue in our home, too. I wasn't naive enough to think we'd never have to deal with, just hoped we wouldn't have to do go through it so soon. It really caught me off-guard. Thanks for sharing your experience. It's definitely not something we as parents ever want to deal with, but it helps to know we're not alone.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your thoughts. It just goes to show that it's so prevalent, we can't be caught off guard. We need to be prepared!
DeleteUnfortunately, the Adversary is gaining strength in these last days. I'm not sure of any family that is immune to filth. I understand this horrible pain, too.
ReplyDeleteHave you heard of http://dadguard.com/troy.html ? Troy Dunn is who worked on this program. Not sure if you are familiar with him, he does a TV show - "The Locator" - and helps reunite lost family members. He is also LDS.
I have not heard of him. But I will look it up. Thanks for your thoughts. It's so sad what we are up against these days.
DeleteOn the flip side, I have never been more grateful for the men in both my family and my church family who strive diligently to keep all the covenants, and to be righteous husbands and fathers. It's a daily battle, but I know that many good men are waging it, and I thank my Heavenly Father for these men everyday!!
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DeleteThat is so true and one of the things we should do- surround ourselves with people who have high values, people who understand the damage of things like pornography and are willing to stand against it.
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