Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Fear Can Only Stop You If You Are Afraid
Fear is an emotion, but being afraid is a choice that we make. Sometime we have a reason for fear. Tomorrow I have an appointment to have some basal cells removed from my nose. (This is after years of sun damage. Use your sunscreen!) To decide if this tissue would need to be removed, the dermatologist had to take a sample. Thankfully, she numbed my nose before scraping layers of skin away. Regretfully, she had to use a needle to numb it. Think about how tender your nose is and then think about someone sticking a needle into it over and over again. My eyes were watering and I was gritting my teeth. The doctor stopped to ask if I needed a break. What good would that do? It would still hurt. Just get it over with.
So, with good reason, I am dreading the appointment that I have tomorrow. I know it is going to hurt. Right now, it is not fear. I know what's coming and I am choosing to be afraid.
But other times, we fear things that have never happened. Sometimes I am afraid of failure. I can't fear failing at something I have never tried, but yet I let myself be afraid. I want to use my writing to touch others, to share my thoughts and inspirations with others, yet what if this dream never happens? This feeling of fear can be a great excuse for never trying or giving up before fully pursuing a dream.
In one of my favorite books, My Stroke of Insight, Jill Bolte Taylor explains one of the "greatest lessons" she learned. "I had the power to choose whether to hook into a feeling and prolong its presence in my body, or just let it quickly flow right out of me." She discusses how feelings will surge through your body unbidden, but after a few seconds it becomes a choice if you want to keep experiencing the feeling.
Fear is that feeling that comes without being invited. Fear is like a bucket of water thrown over you. Being afraid is like jumping into the freezing river so that you can revel in the debilitating cold. Don't worry about fear it will come and go, but don't be stupid. Don't choose to be afraid.
See Dr Jill Bolte Taylor's website at http://www.mystrokeofinsight.com/
Monday, May 13, 2013
If I Were A Rich Man
Growing up, we had about five records that we would play over and over again. One of them was the soundtrack from Fiddler On The Roof. The other day, I came across a situation that reminded me of the song “If I Were a Rich Man.” The main character, Tevye, sings of what his life would be like, if only he were rich. I hate to admit it, but that’s a dream we all share, isn’t it?
A few weeks ago I asked a 12-year-old boy what he most admired about his father. He seemed confused, so I clarified by asking, “What is it about your dad that you want to be like when you grow up?” I was surprised when he answered, “He’s rich.” It made me wonder, what would it take for a child to classify his family as “rich?” And why did he choose this one word to describe his hard-working, loving father?
I began to reflect on the changes in my own life since moving to the Tri-Cities and starting a private sector job. We picked a home that is bigger and nicer than we have ever had before. But something I didn’t consider as we chose the house was how the people you interact with change you. We love our house and the neighborhood is fantastic, but keeping up with the Joneses is a real condition in our society. I don’t think it is usually a conscious decision. We just seem to live our lives in parallel to those around us. If your friends are going to the theater and fancy dinners, then you would want to accompany them. If they tend to hike and picnic, then those are the things you would do.
It doesn't seem to matter how much money you have, it is easy to spend it. So, it goes back to what you value. What you think it important is where you spend your money. For example, I heard on NPR that in America a hundred years ago we spent 20% of our money on clothes. These were high quality clothes that would be well taken care of and kept for many years. Now we spend about 3% of our money on clothes. Yet, think about how many more items we have in our closets and dressers than our ancestors did. So, we must value our possessions much less than they did a hundred years ago. Yet we also have more stuff than any other time in history. Somewhere along the way, we must have decided that the accumulation of things is how we decide who is rich.
But do all these possessions make us happier? According to PyschBlog at being grateful can raise your happiness more than 25%. So the trick is, how can we be more grateful even when we feel we are surrounded by people who have more, do more, and experience more than we do?
We need to look around us. This means going outside our comfort zone. Take a drive through the “wrong side of town.” Stop in at a hospital or shelter. Begin a conversation with someone you wouldn’t normally talk to in line at a grocery store or library. Once you see the variety of people and situations that occur even in your own community, you will begin to be grateful for your blessings. You will see where value should exist in your life. And it won’t be in how much stuff you own.
Links:
PyschBlog
Ethical Fashion: Is The Tragedy In Bangladesh A Final Straw?
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