Six Ways to Handle Conflict Within Your Group

How we react to conflict will affect our health and our happiness. Read on for tips to handle the inevitable controversy that will erupt in your life.

1) Gain perspective. Although the conflict may seem insurmountable and life-changing, usually in a few months, with the challenge behind you, the importance of the conflict will seem much smaller. Don't let this mouse of a problem turn into an elephant.

2) Listen to everyone with an open mind. Each person involved will have their own point of view and each one will bring a different perspective to the conflict. Be willing to listen as you put yourself in their shoes.  When you understand why someone feels they way they do it is much easier to come to a resolution.

3) Be careful with social media and email. These tools are important and powerful. Remember anything you send electronically can be public forever. Be careful when you respond to an email without taking a breath first. Try typing the response then saving it in your drafts folder. Read it over again in a few hours or even the next day. This way you can have a clear head before you hit send.

4) Avoid gossiping and placing blame. It's so easy to let off steam when talking to others involved in the conflict who share your opinions, but be careful to make your conversations productive. It doesn't help to point fingers or share what someone did that made you angry. Talking to someone who is not part of the situation may be a good way to clear your head. Just make sure the person you choose to talk to won't get pulled into the problem. (Consider a family member or friend who lives far from you.)

5) Do something positive. Don't wait around for the problem to fix itself, do something. This doesn't necessarily mean "fixing the problem." Use the energy that is being eaten up dealing with the conflict in a positive way instead. Organize a service project, offer to help on a committee, or find a way to spruce up your environment.

6) Take time for yourself and your family. Make sure your family time is not being taken up with worry and whispered phone calls. Don't forget to spend time exercising, enjoying nature, or drawing closer to God. These activities help to center your mind and remind you what is truly important.

Six Things to Learn from Your Years of Parenting Toddlers to Help You Make it Through Those Dreaded Teen Years

So, all of you parents of teenagers, are you ready to pull your hair out? You thought you had it figured out, right? This parenting thing isn't so hard. Then, bam, they turn 13! What is going on? They ignore you, they scream at you, they cry at the tiniest problem. Kids that used to get straight A's without trying are now barely pulling C's. Why? I don't know. If I hear that phrase come out of my 13-year-old's mouth one more time, I'm going to wash it out with soap.

But take heart. I found the solution to our problems. Remember what your teen was like at two years old? Well, after doing some research, I found that the developmental stage of a teenager is quite similar to a that of a toddler.

They are both known for being negative with frequent mood changes and temper tantrums. They are working through finding their independence and frequently push and test their limits.

Surprised? Your teen is just a big toddler. So here are the suggestions for parents of toddlers and how we can apply the lessons to our teens (so that they just might make it to the next stage of their development).

1) Have a regular routine. Wow, that's true. It seems on the days that he knows what to expect and has the ability to plan his activities and responsibilities, there is less drama.

2) Offer limited choices. Don't we all love to have a choice? Yet, even though teens are closer to being adults, they still don't fully understand the consequences of their choices. I could make life easier for him, by instead of saying, "No, you can't sleep over at your friends house." I could offer, "You could have him come here for our family movie night or you could hang out there tomorrow afternoon."

3) Learn to set limits. This is a big one. I've always been good at setting limits for my kids, but this new teen phase is hard. I want to give him more freedom and personal responsibility, but I haven't found the right balance yet. Here's the second half of the toddler guidance: Don't be surprised when your child tries to test the limits to see what he can get away with. Oh, so we are back to that are we? Ok, mom, time to be tough. Whatever the punishment is, you have to stick with it. I've found this so much harder as a parent of teen than as when he was a toddler. Taking away a favorite toy is easy, taking away a favorite sport is much harder.

4) Don't give into tantrums. Ok, so most teens don't throw two-year-old tantrums, but they do throw teen tantrums. He might not be on the floor screaming, but he might try to make you feel guilty or give you the silent treatment. You would never give into a toddler tantrum, don't forget this is just a teen tantrum. Hang tough, don't give in.

5) Begin to use time-out and take away privileges. Time-out? Yup, "Go to your room until you are ready to talk to me calmly." It still works. And privileges? The best punishment for my daughter was always, "Give me the phone."

6) Provide a safe environment to explore. The teen's environment may not be a physically unsafe environment, but what about mentally, socially, or spiritually? Be as willing to provide a safe environment for your teens as you would be to cover the electric outlets around toddlers, even if it makes you unpopular. You wouldn't let your toddler play with a knife, why would you let your teen attend an unsupervised party?

Light bulb moment: I've been making it too difficult. Back to the basics, I know this stuff. I can do it, and so can you. Let's band together all you parents of teens. We have a plan-- just treat them like two-year-olds-- and we will triumph!