In honor of Memorial Day, I thought I would share some of the things I have learned while being a Navy wife for (almost) 20 years.
1) Friends are invaluable. Having your husband gone more than he is home, makes friendships so much more important. I have had friends help with raising my kids, making tough decisions, and keeping me sane in insane situations.
2) Other kids, whose parents are in the military, make great friends for your kids. They need friends just as badly as yours do and they understand when plans change with no notice. Other military kids understand what it's like to move often and want to go the extra mile to stay friends even after moving thousands of miles away.
3) I can do many things I didn't think I could. I have changed a battery in our truck, hung new doors in our house, hung countless pictures/shelves, replaced a kitchen floor, and many other things I can't remember. If it needed to be done, I learned how to do it.
4) Enjoy being with your husband. It was so hard to have my husband coming and going all the time, but it made me appreciate having him home. You don't waste time, since you never know how much time you will have together.
5) You have to trust each other. Being apart so much, you learned to either trust each other completely or be miserable. You have to trust that financial, personal, familial, and career decisions will be made for the best when you are apart.
6) There is a special feeling that comes for being a small part of keeping our country safe. Even to this day I have people tell me or my husband "Thanks for your service." It was not an easy time, but it was a neat time in my life and I'm glad our family was a Navy family.
I read a sad and gripping story on ESPN recently about a young talented college student who committed suicide. The sweet girl was trying to put on a happy face for all to see, but kept her true worries and sadness hidden. Even when asked point blank how she was doing, she would downplay her depression. There is one line in the story which caught my eye and stuck in my mind, "The myth still exists that happiness is a choice, which perpetuates the notion of depression as weakness." I have written many blog posts about choices, and I do believe that you can choose to change your attitude, but this quote got me thinking.
We all know people who enjoy being miserable (I'm sure you are thinking of one or two right now), but most people, given the choice, would obviously choose happiness over depression. Yet depression is more common than we like to think.
But, you see, depression is a weakness.
It is a weakness in our society: We are scared to admit how we truly feel because of the stigma that follows.
It is a weakness in families: We don't know how much to push to get our loved ones help. We don't know what to believe when we are told "I'm doing fine."
It is a weakness in friendship: We put on a happy face and make sure those around us only see a "perfect life."
It is a weakness in humanity: It is so hard to see beyond the pit of depression we find ourselves in. It is almost impossible to imagine things getting better.
I still believe happiness is a choice.
We can choose to support those around us, be there to listen and to give help when needed.
We can choose to be honest. Don't be a grouchy Gus, but don't be afraid to share your worries and struggles.
We can choose to share our struggles and successes. Help others see that we all have dark times and yet the sunshine does come again.
We can choose to reach out to those around us. Love and friendship go a long way.
1) Friends are invaluable. Having your husband gone more than he is home, makes friendships so much more important. I have had friends help with raising my kids, making tough decisions, and keeping me sane in insane situations.
2) Other kids, whose parents are in the military, make great friends for your kids. They need friends just as badly as yours do and they understand when plans change with no notice. Other military kids understand what it's like to move often and want to go the extra mile to stay friends even after moving thousands of miles away.
4) Enjoy being with your husband. It was so hard to have my husband coming and going all the time, but it made me appreciate having him home. You don't waste time, since you never know how much time you will have together.
6) There is a special feeling that comes for being a small part of keeping our country safe. Even to this day I have people tell me or my husband "Thanks for your service." It was not an easy time, but it was a neat time in my life and I'm glad our family was a Navy family.
