Dear Guys:
I know we seem mysterious and confusing, but we are actually pretty simple. We love you and want to feel close to you. If you would do a few simple things, our relationships could grow more than you would believe.
1) Look at us when we talk to you. Yes, this means you need to put down your phone. It gets frustrating when we are asking for your help or giving you needed information and we have no idea if you are listening. Just look at us, so we know you hear us.
2) We crave your touch. Show us you want to feel us near you. Hold our hand. Touch our back. Sit close to us.
3) Have a conversation with us. You may not need to say anything, but that's how we feel connected. Talk to us. Ask us questions. Learn about us. When we are in the car together, talk to us. We want to know you, too.
4) Be our cheerleader. Encourage us to try new things. Teach us about things you love. Let us excel and brag about us to your friends.
5) Bring peace. Do something to bring peace into our relationship. Pray with us. Meditate together. Let's take a walk together.
But most of all, please do these things for us. Take the lead. We are waiting for you to reach out to us.
We love you. Love,
Your Ladies
As I stood in church yesterday to sing in the choir, I flashed back to my junior high choir. I wish I was a strong singer, I love to sing, but I'm not confident and always compare myself to others around me. It was in the junior high choir that I began to form some lazy habits. I stood next to a good friend who was a strong singer and I could listen to her when I wasn't sure of the notes. I became a GREAT follower. Unfortunately, I'm not sure I ever evolved past that point. Now, even as an adult I have to be careful where I stand in a choir or when I accept an invitation to sing in a small group. I have to have someone to lean on. And if I end up next to someone who struggles a little, like myself, I worry I'm not hitting the harder notes.
But, maybe that's what a choir is for. What a blessing to have someone to lean on and to allow me to enjoy a talent I love. You couldn't have a choir full of soloists it wouldn't work, it wouldn't blend. I need those other ladies around me to help lift me up.
My youngest daughter found out the hard way what happens when you try to "go it alone." She has been riding the city bus to her ice skating lessons this summer. One day she left the house too late and missed the bus by seconds. She was frustrated and didn't want to miss her lesson, so she set off to walk the three miles to the rink. She was walking in flip-flops and dragging her skating bag behind her. She had her phone in her bag, but the battery was dead. I can imagine she felt scared and overwhelmed and at the same time proud and determined as she made that walk. She decided to rely on her own knowledge and skill to make it to her lesson. She did make it. She skated some that day, but then realized her foot hurt. She discovered a giant blister which covered the entire heel of her right foot. Although she made it to her lesson, she couldn't really skate and then had to miss her next couple of lessons because of the blister on her foot.
When it is Okay to lean on others? When should we set out on our own with complete determination?
