It's Time to Decide

The Boy Scouts of America is currently deciding if it should allow gay leaders to join the organization. This issue will now directly affect my family because my 13-year-old son is a scout.

I was pleased to read an article in this month’s Ensign, a magazine published by our church, which answered some questions for me. I want to clarify that this article is not about, and does not mention, homosexuality; however, I would like to apply its teachings as a guide. Elder Dallin H Oaks, in his article, “Balancing Truth and Tolerance” says that “we believe in absolute truth.”  Moral black and white seem to get grayer as the years move on, but according to Elder Oaks, “evil exists and . . . some things are simply, seriously, and everlastingly wrong.” Here I am grounded in the teachings of Christ, I know what is right and wrong and should not “depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

Then Elder Oaks goes on to describe the other side of the coin: tolerance. He says that our lives today are touched by a varied population that “both enriches our lives and complicates them.” He goes on to talk about how we must use tolerance and mutual respect for those who believe differently. We must stand up for our religious beliefs and make sure those freedoms are not taken from us, but at the same time we must be “alert to honor the good we should see in all people.” Elder Oaks clarifies that although we are not obligated to tolerate wrong behavior, we should never “react with hateful communications or unkind actions.”

How do I apply these teachings to my life? The part of his article that guides me now in my thoughts is his discussion on how to know when to let truth rule or let tolerance lead the way. He says that “in most cases this decision can depend on how directly we are personally affected by it.”

This got me thinking. What if my son had a scout leader who was gay? How would this personally affect my family? In reality how different would it be from having a scout leader who smoked? The guidelines of the BSA state that leaders will not use tobacco at any function where youth are attending. So, if my son had a scout leader who smoked, he might know about it because that is hard to hide, but he wouldn’t actually witness him doing it. Of course, as his parent, it would be up to me to have the appropriate discussion that would help him to disagree with his leader’s choice to smoke, yet respect him for all the good things he does. Could this same discussion be appropriate if he had a gay scout leader? I think so. It’s not like homosexuality is a secret in our world today.

My thoughts seem clear at this point until I realize that there is one fundamental difference between smoking and homosexuality. The cigarette is not a human being.  It’s easy to ask someone not to smoke in front of my son, but could I expect someone not to bring their partner to meetings or activities? I’m not sure where this will lead me ultimately, but I will end with this quote from Elder Oaks: “In all of this we should not presume to judge our neighbors or associates on the ultimate effect of their behaviors. That judgment is the Lord’s, not ours.”

Please go to the links below for more information and leave your thoughts and comments.

 Elder Dallin H Oaks Ensign article

Statement by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints about the BSA considering gay leaders