Friday, August 29, 2008
Crying
For some reason last night I decided to go back on my blog and read about our experiences in Washington with Katie in the hospital. I really cannot believe that we lived through all of that. (Things like walking to the hospital from Ronald McDonald House everyday, a couple times a day for a month. Or being interviewed on TV for the news. It was like stepping out of my life and into someone else's.)It seems surreal, like I am reading about another family, not me. Of course I cried and cried. Nathan walked in on me a couple of times and probably thinks I am losing my mind. The thought of making it through the rest of my life seems overwhelming. I just want to be able to live and progress without the memory of Katie fading. I know it won't be long and she will be just a misty memory. She will become the "remember that girl who died." Maybe that is why I want to do more writing. If I can write down my thoughts and memories of her then she will still be here. I hope I can grow and progress in my writing to be able to use it in a way to keep her alive to me.
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It is good to let the tears & emotions out, it makes room for new thoughts, ideas and feelings. We will never forget Katie or stop missing her.
ReplyDeleteTaylor had a hard day at gym this week & when she went to bed she asked me to get Katie's shirt. She hung it next to her bed for strength & comfort.
Hang in there~Vicki
Trisha, as time goes by, you will see that the mist does come and fog one's memories, but there is something miraculous that also happens during that time...a spiritual connection grows steadily stronger with that person, and it is such a wonderful experience to tap into their strength.
ReplyDeleteKeep writing, it will help and I enjoy reading all about Katie and your family and your feelings.
Love,
Loni
Hey Sweety,
ReplyDeleteI so wish I could say or do something that would or could help. I cannot even begin to understand what you are going threw or how to help you. My heart hurts so much for you and the family. The gilrs talk about Katie every day like shes just away on a trip or something. Brooklyn tells us every night at dinner that Shes in heaven and that she's missing us too. Which makes me just about cry each time. katie will never be "That Girl Who Died" She is and alwasy will be your sweet Baby Girl. We will alwasy love her and will alwasy have her with us. Shes way to special to forget or to be just someone we knew. Shes someone we all know and cannot wait to see again. I love you lot and miss you too. Keep writting and letting your feelings come to the surface.You are not going crazy or lossing your mind, you are just going threw the bad stuff to get to the good stuff. Keep your head high and remember that Heavenly father loves you. Love Tiffanie
I read over those blog entries around Katie's birthday, and had myself a cry as well. You are a wonderful writer, Tricia, and you WILL be able to capture what you want to keep fresh about Katie. You're her mother, and you will always have those tender feelings with you that are just for her.
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