When we were driving home from Palmyra I was reading the Ensign. There was an article about listening to inspiration from the spirit. This is something that I have been thinking about and dwelling on for a long time. I read a story about a mom with a 14 year old girl who was sick. She was prompted to tell the doctor that she had pneumonia, and even though the doctor didn't believe it, he did the x ray and she hid have it. Well, of course, as I was reading this, I was crying. It is not fair. I prayed and prayed all day Saturday and Sunday, Katie got a priesthood blessing on Sunday and I never felt like I got an answer if I should take her to the hospital or not. I still beat myself up over not taking her to the doctor sooner--who knows what would have happened. I wish I was close enough to the spirit to know what the Lord wants me to do. Anyway, as I was dwelling on these thoughts, I had a thought (Ok, revelation). I actually had the Lord tell me what to do--it was just months earlier. I got the impression that we should start doing family interviews and Mom and Dad dates. I have to believe that Katie dieing was what was supposed to happen and the Lord was preparing us all. I am so glad that we were able to spend some extra time with Katie. In fact the last few times we did the interviews- Katie decided to interview Brad and me. That was funny. I am going to try to pay attention to when I get inspiration from the Lord. I think it happens much more often than I realize.
I went to the Eastern Connecticut State campus today. I am all official. I got my ID, my parking pass, and my books! I am a little nervous, but also very excited! My class starts on the 2nd!
CONGRATULATIONS! I am so excited for this new adventure for you at ECSU. It's such a great school....I used to teach just across the street at Windham High School and got to see all the improvements to the campus. You are going to love it.
ReplyDeleteI have to tell you, Katie has been with me this week - A LOT. She is definetly still at FMS moving hearts each day. Her locker is still secure with pink and green ribbon and the kids asked if we could keep it that way for this year. It's just another tribute to how she touched lives and how much she is loved!
It does happen often - we just don't hear. My grandma used to talk about hearing the still, small voice deep inside. She was right. Perhaps Katie's death was to prepare you and Brad for helping others when they suffer the same type of loss. Perhaps you may end up working like the Expressive Art facilitator to help families deal with death. You never know and it often takes years - a lifetime - to start to understand a little, but always know that Katie died when she was supposed to. It is we, the weak, that are having a hard time dealing with it. I love you sugar!
ReplyDeleteMom
I really like how you tell your frustrations, and then also include the answers to your prayers. This shows how you ARE receiving personal revelation. (even though it may not be the exact information you were hoping for.)
ReplyDeleteI know you've said that it's funny how people say you are strong but you don't feel strong, so I've avoided saying that to you, but I'm going to today.
You are an amazing woman. You have shown strength and resiliance through your grief beyond belief. A lot of people take out their frustrations on the world and the people around them, and though you still have these feelings and frustrations, you let people IN instead of shutting them OUT and playing the martyr. Everything about you is to be admired, and I love you so much!!
I also think your 'DA BOMB for going back to school! Another good example for me.
Love,
Jess