I forgot

I forgot to tell you about Fast and Testimony meeting today.

It was one of those days when you sit and enjoy everyone's testimony, and fight that stomach rolling that means you need to get up, too. I am usually pretty good at fighting it off, but I couldn't do it today. Many people talked about the blessings of prayer and I felt like we had a themed testimony meeting. I knew I needed to share my feelings about prayer.

I have to admit, although I didn't in church, that I have been pretty lax in this area lately. It was kind of my way of "getting back" at Heavenly Father for taking Katie. I just figured that if he knows best then he might as well just do it and I will just wait on the sidelines for it to be done! Anyway, I recently realized that my temper tantrum had actually turned into laziness. I wasn't praying because I was too lazy to pray. I have since tried to do better and am mostly succeeding!

So, I decided to share some of my feelings about prayer, starting with the prayers that don't get answered the way you think they should. This is a sore point to me, of course. It hurts to hear about the mirales that occur everyday through faith and prayer. I know we couldn't have done any more than we did for our Katie, yet she was taken from us anyway. That means that another level of faith has to begin. Somehow we have to turn our will over to Heavenly Father. We have to believe that He knows best and to let his will bless our lives.

I do have a testimony of the power of prayer. Many times in my life I have felt the love and concern of others surrounding me and pushing me through the rough times. I am grateful for the emotional and spiritual support of my friends and family and that is all I can ask for. Thank you for positive thoughts!

New Calling

I can't believe it, I have finally joined the family calling.

I was set apart as the Secretary in the Young Women's group at church. (My sister and sister-in-law both hold this same calling--funny huh?)

Well, I was very excited to find out about this calling because I have been wanting to work with the young women for a long time. I do feel a little funny about it though, because I wonder if I got the calling because I whined enough to get it. I was finally feeling happy about being in the Nursery. It was fun to work with the other women and to enjoy playing with the little ones. But I am looking forward to the new challenge. We'll see how it will fit into our hectic lives.

Oh, I am trying to write a couple of articles for Girl's Life. I also sent out some of my poems to a magazine called "Living with Loss." Cross your fingers for me!

Our Anniversary

Hi to all:

Yesterday went just like I wanted it to. I took the kids to school and then came home to think about Katie. I watched her slideshow, looked at scrapbooks and wrote in my journal. I let myself cry for an hour or so, and somewhere in there I wrote a poem. I will post the poem after it has been workshopped in class. Then when I picked up the kids from school, I was ready to face the day. Brad, JJ, and I went out to lunch and enjoyed being together. And our family went to art class. We got to make covers for a journal and wrote a poem about Katie using the letters in her name. The kids all had a great time thinking of words to describe Katie. JJ used "Kuckoo Crazy" and "teasing." Nathan used "Kool" and "tight." MaryLynn was too busy drawing an elephant (which was very cute, by the way) to write her poem.

So, we made it through the first day, but I know for the kids that Easter is going to be the hard day. I didn't even say anything to them about it yesterday, because I figure they will go through it on Easter and they didn't need to go through it twice. I hope the weather will be nice then, I would like to have a picnic by Katie's tree.

Thanks for everyone who had us in their thoughts yesterday. Thanks for all the sweet emails, texts, and letters. Having all the support around us makes this so much easier. One year down!

School Stress

Ok, if you know me at all, you know I like to stress.

I found out about a Senior Seminar that I really wanted to take, but found out that it would fill up quickly. I emailed and talked to lots of people, trying to get a spot in this class. After I got on every one's nerves, I found out they cancelled this class. I was so disappointed. Then, I decided I would wait until Spring to take my Senior Seminar, so that I could get something I really wanted. I rearranged my schedule and then found out about a class that I would love to take (Writing for Children and Young Adults). Now, I am waiting to find out if I can get credits for this class. Then I will have to rearrange my schedule again.

I know, I am crazy, What else is new?

Anniversary Coming

Hi!

I have had a few people ask me about Katie's Anniversary. If anyone is interested in dropping by to visit, we would love that on Sunday the 22nd after about 2:00 in the afternoon. We can look at pictures and just visit.

I am hoping on Monday the 23rd to have a quiet day at home. I don't work or go to school, so I am planning on working on a poem to commemorate this past year.

Thanks for thinking of us!